The Beaverton

  • Canada celebrates Asian Heritage Month as Asia celebrates May
    VANCOUVER — Canada is celebrating the history of Canadians of Asian heritage this month while on the other side of the world, Asia celebrates yet another May. 2022 marks the 20th anniversary of the official declaration of May as Asian Heritage Month in Canada. This year, Asia is marking the... Read more »
  • Monkeypox curls single protein spike as man wishes to “stop hearing about COVID”
    The post Monkeypox curls single protein spike as man wishes to “stop hearing about COVID” appeared first on The Beaverton.... Read more »
  • Trudeau confused why Canadians who can’t afford rent not embracing luxury electric vehicles
    OTTAWA – Today during a press conference discussing Canada’s commitments to reduce carbon emissions, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau expressed confusion over why more Canadians currently struggling to pay for rent, food, and other basic necessities of life are not purchasing outrageously expensive luxury electric vehicles. “Canadians have resoundingly expressed their... Read more »
  • BMW, Tesla remain deadlocked in battle for rich asshole market
    L.A. – Consumer reports indicate that BMW and Tesla are still the top vehicle choices for wealthy pieces of shit. “BMW has historically dominated the trust fund douchebag demographic,” said analyst Laurie Demarcus. “But ever since these cunts figured out that by driving a Tesla they could also add an... Read more »
  • Unpaid intern promoted to just unemployed
    WINDSOR, ON – Recent graduate Dana McAllister is thrilled about her latest opportunity – being unemployed after completing an unpaid internship. McAllister, who had relocated to Toronto to intern at a graphic design company for 3 months, was excited about the prospect of being unemployed. “I’m just so grateful for... Read more »
  • Jason Kenney finally delivers best summer ever
    EDMONTON – After promising Albertans the “best summer ever” in 2021, Premier Jason Kenney has finally delivered on his word by resigning. Kenney received 51.4% of the vote in a leadership review which, based on the new education curriculum the United Conservative Party introduced, is short of the 51% Kenney... Read more »
  • Steven Del Duca takes 10 awkward seconds to recall name of current Ontario Liberal Leader
    Chatham,ONT – At a campaign rally today, Steven Del Duca paused during his stump speech and appeared to take 10-12 seconds to remember the name of the current Ontario Liberal Party leader. This concerned many as the current leader is in fact, Steven Del Duca. “Doug Ford’s Ontario has become... Read more »


  • Ex-Cop Pleads Guilty To Manslaughter In George Floyd's Death
    A former Minneapolis police officer pleaded guilty Wednesday to a state charge of aiding and abetting second-degree manslaughter in the killing of George Floyd.A former Minneapolis police officer pleaded guilty Wednesday to a state charge of aiding and abetting second-degree manslaughter in the killing of George Floyd.As part of the... Read more »
  • Milwaukee man who threw acid in a man's face is sentenced to 10 years in prison
    Clifton Blackwell, the Milwaukee man charged with a hate crime in Wisconsin circuit court in 2019 for throwing acid on a US citizen born in Peru, was sentenced Wednesday to 10 years in state prison, court records show.The victim, Mahud Villalaz, suffered second-degree burns in November 2019 after Blackwell threw... Read more »
  • VideoCop who hogtied and dislocated shoulder of elderly woman with dementia gets slapped with 5 years in prison
    Two years after he roughed up and broke the arm of an elderly woman with dementia — and then bragging out it to his colleagues, former Loveland, Colorado, police officer Austin Hopp will be going to prison, the Denver Post reports.Hopp pleaded guilty to a second-degree assault charge in March... Read more »
  • This Unstable Double Binary Star System Could Implode Into a Type Ia Supernova
    Multiple star systems are very common in the Milky Way. While most of these systems are binary systems consisting of two stars, others contain three, four, or even six stars.These systems tend to be pretty stable since unstable systems tend to break apart or merge fairly quickly, but sometimes you... Read more »
  • 'Mind-boggling' scrambled genome found in octopus and squid. It could explain their smarts.
    Cephalopods have been breaking the rules with their genomes.Squid, octopus, and cuttlefish have scrambled-up genomes that may help explain how these cephalopods evolved the most complicated nervous systems of any invertebrate.New genetic sequencing reveals that these animals' genes are mixed up, and arranged in strange orders not seen in other,... Read more »
  • Man Charged With 865 Counts of Child Rape Found Dead in Prison Cell
    Bloom abused the boy for many years before the victim came forward.Bloom Charged With 865 Counts of Child RapeGarrick Landon Bloom, a 48-year-old Tallahassee facing 865 counts of child rape, was captured by Florida police at a local homeless shelter in 2019 after a young boy reported that he had... Read more »
  • Florida man guilty of first-degree murder after hiring hitman to kill wife
    A Florida man was found guilty of first-degree murder on Friday after prosecutors said he hired a hitman to gun down his pregnant wife five years ago.Jurors started deliberating the fate of Euri Jenkins, 35, Thursday afternoon, then returned at 9 a.m. Friday and met for about an hour before... Read more »

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