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OTTAWA – As the nation heads to the polls Gen Z and Millennial Canadians report having difficulty choosing between Mark Carney, who has promised to allow cost of living to continue to rise unchecked, and Pierre Poilievre, who has vowed to incentivize corporate landlords to purchase all available housing. With... Read more »

Steinbach, MB – After briefly perusing the menu at a local Italian restaurant, Irene Everett concluded her adult son would probably like the risotto best. “I know my mom means well, but I’m a grown man who can read a menu and decide I want the risotto for myself,” said... Read more »

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Earlier this week, U.S. President Donald Trump was unable to remember the explicit instructions he was given to stop talking about Canada in order to help the man he’s tapped to be the first governor of the 51st state win the Canadian federal election. “We should have... Read more »

PETERBOROUGH – Present polls panicking Pierre Poilievre, proving poor political performance, privy pals pronounced. “Pah! Pesky plebs!” pouted Poilievre. “Perhaps people picture Pierre Poilievre pivoting past politics? Poilievre prefers prime parliamentarian!”  Previously, Poilievre perfected populism. Present president perforated Pierre’s principal platform plank, politicos pontificated. Pending preferred Poilievre proclamations promising proficient... Read more »

QUÉBEC CITY, QC – Authorities are devastated to report that Bonhomme Carnaval, beloved snowman and symbol of Québécois pride, was beheaded at a Liberal rally this week following an order from Mark Carney to keep our “elbows up”. “He was wandering through the crowd when his enormous icy jaw caught... Read more »

“I assume I’ll just show up and everything will unfold perfectly for me at all times right?” Guest host Ian MacIntyre and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Clare Blackwood and Diana McCallum) talk about the most Canadian reason to re-schedule a debate, right-wing influencers being terrified of pencils and how to... Read more »

CALGARY – During an outdoor campaign rally security rushed a shaken Pierre Poilievre to safety after he was tragically struck by a lone journalist’s question. “Mr. Poilievre was unharmed by the question, but remains badly shaken up,” explained Mike Lattimmer, of Poilievre’s private security detail. “Our guards had swept the... Read more »

MONTREAL – A new study into your workplace’s efficiency habits has found that all the meetings you zone out in at work could easily have been replaced with an email that you would’ve pretended to skim over. “Research shows that workers who sit in a meeting and start daydreaming will... Read more »

Money, CA – After a few weeks breaking no records at the box office, Disney’s Snow White has finally been dethroned at the box office by a poorly shot video of a man ranking Skittles flavours. “It’s just a better hook for audiences,” explains Stephanie Zacharek, a renowned film critic... Read more »