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🤦 Snippets: Two North Texas men are facing charges after allegedly plotting to invade an island off Haiti, kill all the men and turn the women and children into their sex slaves, according to the U.S. Attorney's Office Eastern District of Texas. U.S. Attorney Jay R. Comb announced on Thursday... Read more »

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TORONTO – While watching a movie at home with friends, local cinephile Jacob Meznik repeatedly pointed out all the times the movie gave away that it was clearly shot in Toronto, blissfully unaware that the movie was set in Toronto. “Look! As they’re walking, you can see the reflection of... Read more »

HALIFAX – U.S. lawmakers attending the Halifax International Security Forum reveal that confusion around a leaked peace plan for Ukraine were caused by Secretary of State Marco Rubio spending a long night partying at the The Dome. “At first Secretary Rubio insisted that this peace plane did represent the Trump... Read more »

OTTAWA, ON ― An alarming new study out of the University of Ottawa suggests that years of recommendations to learn a new language in order to stave off cognitive decline may in fact have the opposite effect, as bilingual people tend to forget double the amount of words as they... Read more »

WASHINGTON D.C. – American Vice President JD Vance has posted online, slamming the country of Canada’s economic and immigration policies, which insiders reveal stems from hurt feelings over being sexually rebuffed by a Canadian chesterfield. “For weeks now Vance would not stop talking about this ‘super fuckable sidepiece’ he’d been... Read more »

EDMONTON – Following the invocation of the Notwithstanding Clause to shield the Alberta government from legal challenges arising from bills targeting the province’s 2SLGTBQIA+ community, Premier Danielle Smith has again invoked the clause to prevent Albertans from watching Canada’s Drag Race. “For too long, Albertans have been subjected to these... Read more »

AUSTIN, TX – Radio show host and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones is once again reaching out to his listener base for help with a new GoFundMe campaign to make his face even more ruddy-looking. “So the radical left has clearly found a way to deflate my head, in hopes of... Read more »

“There is a piece of cloth flying above city hall that I don’t like!!” Luke and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Nile Seguin and Megan MacKay) talk about the Liberals (barely) passing their budget, the Conservatives new ‘hide behind the curtain’ voting strategy, and Donald Trump’s Epstein problem getting worse by... Read more »

QUEEN’S PARK – Ontario NDP leader Marit Stiles was kicked out of Question Period this morning after criticizing Doug Ford and incorrectly calling him and his entire government “corrupt,” instead of “the embodiment of evil itself made flesh.” “In the Ontario Legislature, we pride ourselves on speaking the truth,” stated... Read more »

QUEEN’S PARK – Ontario Premier Doug Ford is in production today on a new advertisement meant to play on U.S. television that sees former President Ronald Reagan point out how he, like most people, thought pedophilia was bad. The ad, a follow-up to last month’s infamous piece that sampled a... Read more »