Barely Adventist

• nieuwReport: COVID-19 Vaccine Ready As Soon As It Can Be Stamped By Mark Of Beast
  WASHINGTON D.C. —- Assuring Americans a COVID-19 vaccine would soon be ready, Astral Zenith labs said the vials just needed one final ingredient before going on to save lives: “We want Read more [...]
  - 1 hour ago 2 Dec 20, 10:52am -
• Slacker Church Parking Volunteer Hasn’t Done Job In Months
  This guy literally hasn’t done a thing in months. While he used to self-importantly stride around the church parking lot on Sabbath mornings, all he does these days is just smile and wave on Read more [...]
  - 2 days ago 30 Nov 20, 7:56am -
• Dwight Nelson Takes Over As ‘Jeopardy!’ Host
  BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. —- Pioneer Memorial Church Senior Pastor Dwight Nelson, confirmed today that he would be taking on a “sideline” as host of ‘Jeopardy!’ Nelson, who will continue Read more [...]
  - 8 days ago 24 Nov 20, 4:32am -
• Turkeys Urge Americans Not To Travel For Thanksgiving
    UNITED STATES —— Turkeys across the United States have warned Americans of the extreme dangers of traveling for Thanksgiving this year. “Don’t risk your health or that of your family Read more [...]
  - 9 days ago 23 Nov 20, 3:58am -
• Biden Calls For Forgiveness Of Southern Adventist University Student Fine Debt
  WASHINGTON, D.C. - US President-Elect Joe Biden has called for immediate congressional action to cancel “crippling Southern Adventist University fine debt.” The politician said that “no Read more [...]
  - 14 days ago 18 Nov 20, 4:14am -
• Borat To Remain Fully Clothed For 3ABN Special Music
  HOLLYWOOD, Calif. --- Famed Kazakh journalist, Borat Sagdiyev promised he would be appearing "with full clothings" for his performance of "several very nice patriotic hit specials from United Read more [...]
  - 34 days ago 29 Oct 20, 2:35am -
• Amy Coney Barrett Confirmed As Fodder For Future Prophecy Seminars
  WASHINGTON, D.C. --- Hours ago, the US Senate confirmed Judge Amy Coney Barrett to the Supreme Court in a victory for Adventist prophecy seminars everywhere. The 48-year-old Roman Catholic Read more [...]
  - 36 days ago 27 Oct 20, 4:48am -
• Annual Council Features As Comedy Special On Netflix
  SILVER SPRING, Md. ---- In an effort to further diversify its content, streaming giant Netflix has bought rights to the Annual Council live stream and video library. The deal was sealed for Read more [...]
  - 51 days ago 12 Oct 20, 5:18am -
• GC President Inks Endorsement Deal With Wilson Basketballs
  SILVER SPRING, Md. --- Pledging all proceeds to improving recess time for Adventist elementary school students, General Conference President Ted Wilson accepted a new role today officially endorsing Read more [...]
  - 56 days ago 7 Oct 20, 4:49am -
• Trump, Biden Commit To Singing “Kumbaya” Together At Start Of Next Debate
  WASHINGTON, D.C. --- After the unmitigated disaster that was the first US Presidential Debate, both President Donald Trump and Former Vice President Joe Biden have committed to a duet at the Read more [...]
  - 62 days ago 1 Oct 20, 3:37am -

World of Buzz

• nieuwKelantan Wants Covid-19 Vaccine Study To Make Sure It’s Compliant With Syariah Law
  The post Kelantan Wants Covid-19 Vaccine Study To Make Sure It’s Compliant With Syariah Law appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ.Deputy Chief Minister, Datuk Mohd Amar Nik Abdullah announced that the Kelantan government wants a Covid-19 vaccine study t…
  - 1 hour ago 2 Dec 20, 11:00am -
• nieuwM’sian Man Slaps Pregnant Cashier At Klang Because She Didn’t Arrange His Wife’s Groceries Properly
  
  - 2 hours ago 2 Dec 20, 10:32am -
• nieuwMotorcyclist Dies After Driver Allegedly Falls Asleep & Crashes Into Him On KL-Seremban Highway
  The post Motorcyclist Dies After Driver Allegedly Falls Asleep & Crashes Into Him On KL-Seremban Highway appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ.A 34-year-old delivery worker died after a car driven by a man believed to have fallen asleep crashed into him o…
  - 2 hours ago 2 Dec 20, 10:13am -
• nieuwSelangor Police: Spread of Revenge Porn & Nude Videos, 180 Extortion Reports Received So Far in 2020
  The post Selangor Police: Spread of Revenge Porn & Nude Videos, 180 Extortion Reports Received So Far in 2020 appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ.As reported by Astro Awani, the Selangor police have received a total of 180 extortion reports, including t…
  - 2 hours ago 2 Dec 20, 10:03am -
• nieuwFive Staff From Ministry Of Finance Fined RM1,500 – RM2,000 Each For Accepting Bribes
  The post Five Staff From Ministry Of Finance Fined RM1,500 – RM2,000 Each For Accepting Bribes appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ.Five staff members from the Ministry of Finance (MOF) were fined RM1,500 to RM2,000 each after admitting to accepting br…
  - 3 hours ago 2 Dec 20, 9:07am -
• nieuw“It’s not our culture!” Amanah Says 7 Days Given To Anwar To Kick Out Muhyiddin Is False News
  The post “It’s not our culture!” Amanah Says 7 Days Given To Anwar To Kick Out Muhyiddin Is False News appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ.Needless to say, Malaysians were shocked by the news of National Trust Party (Amanah) allegedly giving oppos…
  - 3 hours ago 2 Dec 20, 8:56am -
• nieuwStudy: Malaysians Born In 2020 Expected To Live 11-12 Years Longer Than Those Born In 1970!
  The post Study: Malaysians Born In 2020 Expected To Live 11-12 Years Longer Than Those Born In 1970! appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ.Have you ever wondered how long you’ll live? Well, a recent study by Khazanah Research Institute (KRI) titled “S…
  - 4 hours ago 2 Dec 20, 8:05am -
• nieuw“This is my Christmas miracle” M’sian Girl Sells Cookies To Raise Funds For Paralysed Uncle Who Was Abandoned
  The post “This is my Christmas miracle” M’sian Girl Sells Cookies To Raise Funds For Paralysed Uncle Who Was Abandoned appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ.Recently, a Tweet by a young Malaysian girl named Hilda was circulated all over social media…
  - 4 hours ago 2 Dec 20, 7:56am -
• nieuw“I have a sight problem” Speaker Says He Can’t Make A Ruling On Willie’s Alleged Middle Finger Incident
  The post “I have a sight problem” Speaker Says He Can’t Make A Ruling On Willie’s Alleged Middle Finger Incident appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ.During the Parliamentary session yesterday (1 December), Puncak Borneo MP Willie Mongin was accu…
  - 4 hours ago 2 Dec 20, 7:39am -
• nieuw36yo Indonesian Woman Dies Right In Front Of Husband After Being Struck By Lightning
  The post 36yo Indonesian Woman Dies Right In Front Of Husband After Being Struck By Lightning appeared first on WORLD OF BUZZ.A woman was struck by lightning while trying to seek shelter from the rain in a hut nearby a farm in Dompu district, West N…
  - 5 hours ago 2 Dec 20, 7:26am -

Dave Berry's Blog - Grappig Nieuws

• nieuwLIKE EVERY OTHER AIR TRAVELER
  Giant pandas slept, snacked and passed gas on flight home (Thanks to Asher Scheiner)
  - 14 hours ago 1 Dec 20, 9:42pm -
• nieuwSO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE
  Va. woman charged after opening fire on suspected drunk driver who crashed in her backyard (Thanks to pharmaross)
  - 20 hours ago 1 Dec 20, 3:48pm -
• nieuwIS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICER?
  Authorities arrested a wanted fugitive Friday in Baxter County after he crashed his motorcycle into a deputy’s patrol car. (Thanks to pharmaross)
  - 20 hours ago 1 Dec 20, 3:46pm -
• nieuwPLANNING A SWIM IN AUSTRALIAN WATERS?
  Carry a camera. (Thanks to Bob Brogan)
  - 20 hours ago 1 Dec 20, 3:44pm -
• nieuwCOUNT THIS BLOG AMONG THE FAITHFUL
  Tequila bar applies to become church to skirt COVID-19 lockdown rules (Thanks to Le Petomane, pharmaross and Ralph)
  - 21 hours ago 1 Dec 20, 3:35pm -
• nieuwHE WILL OF COURSE BE GRANTED A FLORIDA CAPTAIN'S LICENSE
  Drunk boater in Naples gives ‘poop deck’ new meaning… (Thanks to pharmaross)
  - 21 hours ago 1 Dec 20, 3:34pm -
• nieuwASK MISTER LANGUAGE PERSON
  I have a question for Mr. Language Person. The question is: is there a difference between a Clusterf#$% and a Sh@# Show? Thank you for your masterful use and explanation of all things “wordy”. With warmest regards, Susan Kosturik, Dawsonville,...
  - 21 hours ago 1 Dec 20, 3:32pm -
• nieuwWE NEED TO STOP DOING STUDIES
  Otter penis bones are becoming less dense and more breakable due to toxic chemicals trickling into rivers from oil hubs in Canada - and it could have the same impact on human men, study reveals (Thanks to Michael Moyer and...
  - 21 hours ago 1 Dec 20, 3:26pm -
• nieuwTHE SEVENTIES....
  ...every bit as tasteful as you remember. (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
  - 21 hours ago 1 Dec 20, 3:23pm -
• nieuwTMI
  Why I’m Embracing Peeing Outside (Thanks to Matt Filar, who says, "Embracing?")
  - 21 hours ago 1 Dec 20, 3:15pm -

News Biscuit - Grappig en Fake News

• nieuwClosure of Burton leaves gaping hole in the wear-once court appearance market
  The collapse of Sir Philip Green’s retail empire has left the affordable courtroom smartwear market in tatters. High street regulars who trundle tartan shopping trolleys in front of them at speeds of up to six tiles per hour, were deeply saddened t…
  - 5 hours ago 2 Dec 20, 7:30am -
• nieuwLaurence Fox to retrain as an actor
  Professional gobshite Laurence Fox, has announced that he fancies ‘having a go’ at acting, following the creation of a vaccine which looks set to destroy the only thing he was good at – virus propagation. Fox is no stranger to filming, having a…
  - 22 hours ago 1 Dec 20, 2:00pm -
• nieuwTop Shop STILL unable to shift Christmas tat – even at 90% off
  
  - 24 hours ago 1 Dec 20, 12:18pm -
• nieuwFuture lockdown rules to be published on the side of a bus
  
  - 24 hours ago 1 Dec 20, 12:16pm -
• nieuwWashed up leviathan identified as Sir Philip Green
  
  - 24 hours ago 1 Dec 20, 12:15pm -
• Beavers building Exmoor dam heralds return of The White Witch
  While the National Trust is excited by beavers making their first return since the 16th century, the rest of the UK is braced for a re-enactment of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Mr & Mrs Beaver may be happily making dams, but we know it all e…
  - 1 day ago 1 Dec 20, 12:00pm -
• Man travels thousands of miles to eat at ‘Best Kebab’, left furious
  An Australian who flew over 21 hours from Sydney to London to sample the world’s greatest kebab is incandescent with rage after dining at the takeaway on the outskirts of Luton. Greg Leach spent thousands on the two-way ticket after mistakenly thin…
  - 1 day ago 1 Dec 20, 7:30am -
• Trump slams Oval Office door on Joe Biden’s foot
  
  - 2 days ago 30 Nov 20, 2:37pm -

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